It Hurts Being Beautiful

“Does it hurt….being so beautiful?”

 That's that bitter sweet old rhetorical question I hear alot, which is used as an alternative way to compliment on someone’s look. But that question isn’t so rhetorical, or is it? To me it isn’t…and to me there is an answer to that question, and it's;

Why, YES it hurts.....

Not to sound conceited or maybe even ungrateful to be in my skin, but I believe anyone who is below or above AVERAGE is prone to consequences, and those consequences are often similar, and brought by others through hatred in different views. Anyone who is NOT plain Jane average looking person, usually can walk in a room and stand out, without even trying to make yourself know, they constant draw attention by their appeal. Whether you are too pretty, too ugly, too sophisticated, too trashy, too smart, too dumb, too wealthy, too poor. YOU STAND OUT, and by the same pair of eyes, you are criticized with the same intense as someone who is the total opposite of you. You might ask me, how can I compare a criticism being compared to a High School drop out, to Harvard Grad.. Well that is because we, as human, often misread our feelings, the feeling; ENVY and JEALOUSY to an above average person can have the same reaction on someone as superiority, and PITY, if misread by the regular “average” person. So life might be nice on the eyes of for the pretty girl, who seems to have everything going on…but that is just on the eyes of who is looking at her on the outside. Because it is more likely she is falling apart inside, and her life isn’t so perfect as easy as it seems to someone judging her as

 “Sex [Appeal] sells, so she’ll be fine."

 Everyone is so quick to judge beautiful people live fairy tale lives. And that isn’t it at all. I have been around the modeling industry, from your all American beauty queen, to run-ways tall and slim, to curvy exotic music videos bootylicious woman,, and they all have one thing in common…. Most of them have lonely lives, with less friends, less opportunity to be taken serious.. and most all suffer from an aching heart due to a man who doubts her loyalty to him, or co-workers questioning her commitment to her job, and friends judging her motives and interests.

It’s a lose-lose, you are damned if you are good, and your damned if you are bad.

As people judge the good in you, and the bad in you in the same context. Before becoming friends with the knock out beauties, I used to just know of them from the mix, and I used to envy them a little bit. I wanted to be more like her, and less like me. She seemed to have it together more, we had the same lifestyle, but why was she happy? and I wasn't?… She def smiled more than I do, and people around her seems genuinely nice to her… but are they? Girls these days are usually too stuck up to talk to one another to become friends, maybe friendenemies is the closest to a friendship as it gets!… But I learned that is just stereo typing them. Inside they are dying for the simplicity of a true friendship, a real relationship, and to be taken serious as a professional, if your modeling is a hobby or a career. As a socialite in that same circle, I also had too much pride to go up to her, and let her know how much I admired her, and wanted to be her friend, so I can learn whatever she is doing to be happy in this life, but I wasn’t going to embarrassed myself, she probably doesn’t feel like a sorry loser like me, and doesn’t need anymore friends, I definitely can't approach her on some fan, shit!

Well... Somehow, whether it was through College classes together, through work on catalogs, or casting calls waiting room, I somehow was put in a place to communicate with her, and share a special bond that day that made us friends. And as I came to realize she was just like ME…. She was happy to have made a new friend, and was in desperate need for a new out view on life, and she was friendlier than any other person I knew. Wow really? That still exists? Yeah they do...

 While people are too busy judging a pretty woman as self-confident, shallow, and no in need of blessings in life, they overlook the fact the person may be dying in the inside, crying out for help, and hoping to conquer as many hearts as possible, through her soul not her beauty.

Most of them are all dealing with a current struggle that is caused on through someone else’s premature judgment of them, that is targeted to us as evil.... Because that is just what the world we live in teaches us.. The prettier you are, the better your life is?…” Ehh wrong…. Do you know anyone who looks at an overweight, ashy, acne filled pizza face woman in public, and sees here with a child and thinks to herself....“Wow, someone actually went to bed with her, conceived a child, and married her, because she got a ring on her finger, and she is probably happy, she has that part of her life fulfilled as a woman, which is bearing the cost of procreating and nurturing a family.”  Well I do, because the person who thinks like that is me, but I don’t think it on a bad way, I think it in a way that she surpassed me in life-accomplishments, I might have her beat on the looks, but she has me beat on the family life fulfillment. And I came to discover many of my friends have the same thoughts, which makes it okay for me to actually admit it on this blog, and not sound indifferent and shallow.

I guess you can say "I throw myself pity parties"

But pain is pain, it all goes down the same way to our heart. Life isn’t fair, and no one is fortunate enough to have everything, and it is life’s imperfection that makes our success satisfactory and worth it in the end. I don’t need life to be fair, but that is not where I am trying to get at though. My life can fall apart for all I care, if it is what needs to happen in order for me to build it back up into the place, but it is the cruelness of others that is destroying me and taking every little bit of chance I have to strive for the pursuit of happiness. I have the same chance of being happy and fulfilled as the person next to me, whoever they are, or how shitty or great their life is…

Happiness is a state of feeling that FEW people can actually acquire, but we all deserve the same chance to try it out, give a shot at it, as many times as we can possibly stand before we settle with mediocrity, so why are we taking away from others the chance, without throwing rocks on their path to happiness.

-Meee