It Happened Again

My home live has always been somewhat complicated

Growing up I had a pretty normal childhood

a big family you might say,

full of cousins, aunts, and very involved grandmothers

My parents also have always been very catering

Giving me everything my heart desired

But there is an awful twist to my happy home

I have a brother

A brother that I try hard to forget about

A brother I do not speak of

and refrain from seeing and getting too close

A brother that has lived with me for 18 years

but one that I have never gotten to know him

When I turned 18, I felt free for the first time

I was able to move out and have my own life

not be confined to share a home with this man I did not know

who holds a title so close to me

but we were like strangers

Moving out of my parents home

meant I could now hold a grudge against him

I did not have to pretend everything was okay

anymore.

You see....

I have a brother who beats me

For as long as I can remember

I have been beaten by him

to mild and severe fights

It has never been normal

He said I would provoke it

but anything that comes from me is provoking to him

the anger and hate he feels inside

manifests into a rage

and an episode of violence towards

Me and

ONLY ME.

Friends and Family has diagnosed his rage as jealousy.

The beating has gone far back since we were kids

and it has only became more and more serious

as we gotten older.

Every since middle school

he has locked himself in his room

only to come out to go to school or meals

He never presented to have any friends

whenever he sat on a table around family

he was obvious odd ball

He has never gottten in fights outside of the home

or with anyone but me

So its clear to me I am his person of choice

the one who is 3 years younger

and he has some type of control with

For the last 18 days I have lived back in my parents home

where he still resides in his dark, locked room

It had been over 4 years that I have not spoken to him

and 6 years that I had not lived under the same roof as him

And yesterday it happened again.

It was only a matter of time it would happen

And now all I can do is get over it

and wait for my wounds to heal

Dr. said it would take a few weeks

Note: funny thing is, the image above looks just like him,

minus all the tattoos.